Liza Morales (right in the picture above) was with
NBA player Lamar Odom for 10 years. They had three kids together, Destiny, 14,
Lamar Odom Jr, 11 and a third child, Jayden, who died at six months old of SIDS
in 2006. Liza recently published an open letter in The Daily Beast speaking of
her devastation at Lamar's whirlwind romance and wedding to Khloe Kardashian. Read
it below...
“I don’t think I’ll forget the tight knot I felt in
the pit of my stomach the morning I received the text message with three simple
words on the screen. It read 'I’m getting married’ and it was from the man I’d
spent more than 10 years of my life with.”
“Years that included us getting engaged in 2000 and
becoming parents to one daughter and two sons. Yet not long after our
separation Lamar Odom was getting married to Khloe Kardashian, a woman he’d met
four weeks before.”
‘How could the man who’d constantly given me reason
after reason for why we couldn’t get married just yet now be ready to tie the
knot so quickly? There aren’t words to explain how I felt that day.’
Continue to read after the cut...
I met Lamar
in the 9th grade in Queens, New York, and was completely taken in by his wit,
charm, and that devastating smile he so easily flashed at anyone he met. We
dated from the 11th grade on and shared a tight bond due to a lot of things,
including the fact that we both were products of broken homes.
Though my parents weren’t together, I did have a
very close relationship with my father, whom I loved dearly and consider my
hero. He worked very hard to make sure I could attend Catholic school and have
everything I needed. But when I started dating Lamar that all changed. My
father is Puerto Rican and he didn’t approve of me dating a black man. His
small mind and small thinking ended the relationship with my dad. I wanted a
life with Lamar and needed my family to support that. The next 10 years would
be an amazing journey filled with many ups and down but Lamar and I were
creating the family we’d both always dreamed of. Or so I thought.
We talked about marriage a lot during those days but
Lamar would always tell me that NBA marriages never lasted. He’d point to
Shaquille O’Neal’s marriage ending or Dwayne Wade’s marriage ending as examples
of why we should wait until he retired to tie the knot. He told me he wanted to
leave the game early and then the timing would be perfect for us. I listened to
the many reasons why we weren’t married yet and believed them, knowing deep
inside something wasn’t right. And then I slowly morphed into the girl I
promised myself I’d never become, the girl who stayed long after she knew she
shouldn’t. Truth is, I wanted that fairy tale so badly that I couldn’t bear to
walk away from that life or take my children away from the comfort and security
of a two-parent home.
I struggled to deal with all the groupies around him
and with whatever else that was going on and just stayed put. My denial came to
an abrupt end in 2006 after the death of Jayden. Lamar and I never really
talked about our loss, which I know wasn’t healthy and also meant our
relationship would never last. It couldn’t. I found out soon after that he’d
had a long-term relationship with another woman—a relationship he said he’d end
but he didn’t—and that was that.
We kept things cordial for the children’s sake after
the breakup, but that changed when he married Khloe. Now we only communicate
through third parties and lawyers, which I regret deeply since it is exactly
what we each experienced as children and said we wouldn’t do to our kids.
I’ve only met Khloe once, at my request since she is
my children’s stepmother and I felt it was important to get a sense of her and
what she’s like around my children. It was a very pleasant meeting; she gave me
a hug so I’m happy it happened.
Though some frown upon my decision to do a reality
show, I agreed to be a part of “Starter Wives” so I could tell my own story of
how things unfolded after Lamar married Khloe. We weren’t really together so I
didn’t fall apart as many have suggested. I’ve have to deal with a lot of
tabloid lies as the result of all the attention Lamar gets since he’s married
to someone so famous.
To be honest I’m really doing the show for my
daughter to prove to her that you can get up and move on after things fall
apart. I did it to show her how you make mistakes and fix them and that you can
never give up on yourself. She needed to see that and hear it from me. I think
I also hope my father sees it as well. The only time I’ve seen my dad in recent
years was at the funeral for my son. That was the first time Lamar had ever met
him or that the kids had a chance to meet him. I’d really love for my kids to
have their grandparents in their lives. They've met Lamar's father (his mother
passed away before we met) and are very close to my mother. I’d like to see
that change and see them have relationships with both of their grandfathers.
As I continue to move on with my life, it can be
difficult to avoid hearing about the Kardashians day in and day out. But I do
what I can to ignore the constant chatter and I try to keep it from the kids as
well so they can have a life that is as normal as possible. I am hopeful that one
day I will have a cordial relationship again with Lamar, but until then I have
to think of myself and the future I’d like to have given that I’m still in my
early 30’s.
I know Lamar wasn’t that happy with the show but
it’s helping me move on with my life by getting my truth out there and that’s
what’s important. I’m taking college courses now to help with my dream of
creating a skin care line in the future. I spent a great deal of my young life
focused only on Lamar and his world. That’s all over now. I'm looking forward
to meeting someone new and finding a love again and finally walking down the
aisle. I'm hopeful that I'll find someone willing to be a role model and a
father figure for my children. They deserve that. Today it’s about me and the
kids and moving forward. No anger or regrets. Just lessons learned and good
days ahead.
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